Layla had something many people spend their whole lives searching for.
Layla had something many people spend their whole lives searching for.
A loving husband.
A safe home.
A family that cared for her.
And yet, somewhere deep inside, she was still waiting for all of it to disappear.
When she came to me, she spoke about her husband with love. She knew he treated her well. She knew he respected her. She knew she had built a completely different life from the one she had grown up in.
But she couldn't fully relax into it.
She feared losing him.
She worried that her children might one day leave her.
And beneath those fears was an even quieter belief:
“Maybe I don't deserve this love.”
The interesting thing was that her present life wasn't giving her that message.
Her past was.
The Little Girl Who Never Felt Good Enough
Layla grew up with a mother who was emotionally harsh and sometimes physically abusive.
She couldn't remember receiving the affection or encouragement every child longs for.
Instead, she remembered criticism.
She was told she was stupid.
She was made to feel that she was worth very little.
At school, she was bullied.
At home, even her older sister mistreated her and exercised control over her.
Her father was the person with whom she felt safer and loved, but much of her childhood was still lived in fear.
Eventually, she left her home country.
Life wasn't easy after leaving. There were periods when she slept on the floor, struggled to afford food, and accepted whatever work she could find.
But somehow, surviving those conditions felt easier than returning to the environment she had escaped.
She had learned how to endure.
What she had never learned was how to feel worthy.
Then We Reached a Moment She Had Never Consciously Remembered
During the healing and hypnosis, Layla moved through several important experiences from her childhood.
Then something unexpected surfaced.
She experienced herself at the time of her birth.
In that scene, she became aware of something deeply painful: her family had been hoping for a boy, and she perceived that her mother had intended to give her away because she was born a girl.
According to what emerged during the session, another woman was prepared to take her, until Layla's grandfather intervened and refused to allow it.
Whether we understand an experience like this spiritually, symbolically, or through the subconscious mind, what mattered in our work was the meaning Layla connected to it.
Suddenly, one belief that had followed her throughout her life made sense:
“I wasn't wanted.”
And from that belief came so many others.
I am not enough.
People will leave me.
Love can disappear.
I should be grateful for whatever I receive.
I shouldn't ask for too much.
I need to take care of everyone so they continue to love me.
The adult Layla had built a beautiful life.
But a much younger part of her was still waiting to be abandoned.
When the Past Doesn't Recognize the Present
This is something I see often in healing work.
Our circumstances can change long before our inner beliefs do.
You can leave the difficult home.
You can become successful.
You can meet a loving partner.
You can create a safe family.
You can be surrounded by people who genuinely value you.
And still, a wounded part of you may whisper:
“Don't get too comfortable. It won't last.”
That is why sometimes receiving love can feel almost as difficult as finding it.
Layla's husband was not her mother.
Her present family was not her childhood family.
But emotionally, part of her was still responding to an old story.
Healing meant helping that part of her understand:
You are not there anymore.
The Woman Who Always Put Herself Last
There was another pattern we began to see.
Layla was used to putting herself last.
She was naturally caring and giving. She was often there when others needed her, offering support, love, and attention without thinking twice. Taking care of others came naturally to her.
But giving felt much more natural to her than receiving.
She knew how to show love, but she was still learning how to allow herself to receive that same love without questioning whether she deserved it.
And this is where I asked her to begin changing something very simple:
Stop treating yourself as though you are the least important person in your own life.
Self-love isn't only affirmations in front of a mirror.
Sometimes self-love is eating well because your body matters.
Moving your body because it deserves care.
Resting without explaining yourself.
Saying no without feeling guilty.
Allowing someone else to help you.
And accepting love without immediately wondering what you must do to deserve it.
During the healing, we worked on releasing the emotional weight connected to rejection, abandonment, and unworthiness.
But the deeper work would continue in her everyday choices.
Every time she chose herself, she was teaching that little girl something new:
“You matter too.”
You Don't Have to Earn What Should Have Been Given Freely
This was perhaps the most important realization.
A child should not have to earn love.
She shouldn't have to be intelligent enough.
Quiet enough.
Helpful enough.
Beautiful enough.
Successful enough.
Or even the “right” gender.
She deserves love simply because she exists.
But when a child doesn't experience that, she may spend adulthood unconsciously trying to earn what should once have been given freely.
And sometimes she becomes incredibly good at it.
She becomes useful.
Generous.
Responsible.
Strong.
She takes care of everybody.
And still wonders:
“Am I enough now?”
The Message
Maybe today your life is very different from your childhood.
Maybe you are loved.
Maybe you are safe.
Maybe the people around you aren't planning to leave.
But your nervous system, your subconscious beliefs, or the wounded child within you may still be living according to an old story.
Healing is not about pretending the past didn't happen.
It is about recognizing that the past doesn't get to keep deciding what you deserve today.
You don't have to spend the rest of your life proving that you are worthy of being chosen.
You don't have to exhaust yourself so people will stay.
And you don't have to reject yourself simply because someone once failed to recognize your worth.
Sometimes the love we've been searching for has already arrived.
The healing is learning to believe we are worthy enough to receive it.
The Side of Herself She Had Never Learned to Love
When Masculine and Feminine Energies Collide at Home
She Was Always There for Everyone… But Who Was There for Her?